


Slowly, then all at once.

by han_art



Category: The Voice RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-03-13 14:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3385934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/han_art/pseuds/han_art
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They have so much history, and had so much in common, passion for music, love for the same book. When Blake asked Adam to forget him, Adam did exactly that, now Blake is back in town and well with him he brings all the emotional turmoil they had had left in the past. The only difference is this time Blake seems to be fighting for Adam and all he wants to know is whats changed. At different times they both agree that they fell in love the way you fall asleep, Slowly, then all at once</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Before today i never dreamed of penning down anything. Am sorry in advance coz its going to suck real bad. First times, you know how horrible those be ;).   
> For you doctor_freak, coz u r awesome and ofcourse 143. Am sorry its terrible, but its all i could come up with

Blake came here in an attempt to try and forget him, Every time he was sure Adam wouldn’t be here, he went to the only place he knew he could relieve the pain. He had tried to but always felt worse the next morning but at least it got him through the night. The nights were the worst, thinking what they were doing drove him to the edge of darkness and one of these days he going to move past broken. He was so jealous of Carson, Adam's boyfriend. Blake could have had that with Adam but he had been a jerk and dismissed his friend like he didn't matter. Now every night, he came to same gay bar and picked out a guy, who he fucked senseless, sometimes he was twisted enough to pay them double so he could call them the Cocky' bastard's name. He had a type too, he only picked out those that were Slim, 5ft11, with spiky dark brown hair, hazel eyes, tattoos were always a bonus, thank God people in LA loved tattoos so it wasn't as rare to find. Today was no different. Perhaps even worse, he had been at Adam's house earlier, and as he passed by Adam's bedroom which was slightly ajar, Carson was on his knees, the ring evident in his hands, Blake had looked just to confirm it was not in his head and there Adam was shaking his head in disbelief, tears running down his face, he'd seen Adam get on his knees mirroring Carson's gesture and right then Blake’s head nearly exploded. Now Adam had everything he ever wanted and Blake felt like a creep for choosing only to fuck those people that looked like his friend, his now engaged friend. He had started drinking at 11 as soon as he left leaving Adam’s house. He regretted having slept over at their place. They had gone out the previous night and Blake had probably passed out which is how he had ended up at Adam's house. When he woke and his first sight was the reason he was turning into an alcoholic, he had called a cab and headed to the bar. Now 9 hours later he had fucked 3 Adam look alike in the bathroom stalls but the void wasn't gone and that poor last guy, he wasn't gentle at all, it was like Blake was punishing him for being the reminder of his misery. He was drunk off his ass seated at the bar counter looking for his next when he spotted Carson, with Adam on his lap, Of all places, they had to choose a fucking celebrate their engagement in the one place where they could rub it in his face, great. Why couldn't they just go some fancy restaurant or stay in like normal people, No they had to come to a gay fuckin' bar, the exact same one he was in Blake thought bitterly and he made up his mind to leave quietly and he as was avoiding being seen, Adam turned in his direction and Blake froze. He could not feel his legs and he was not ready to have this conversation, he could not pretend to be happy for them when he felt like crap and drunk off his ass and yet the idea of hurting Adam in any way at all after all he had put him through just when they were getting back on truck, killed him and sohe just stood there, motionless until he looked again clearly only to see that it wasn’t Adam at all. Blake almost chocked on the drink in his hand and he didn’t how he had walked across the crowded bar but the next thing he knew, he was by Carson's side, pulling off the slut he had on his lap. 'Guess Blake wasn't the only one with the type, no wonder he almost mistook the nearly not as pretty guy for Adam' and instantly punching Carson in his face who went flying straight for the ground. Blake lifted him off the ground by his collar and pressed him against the wall trying to choke him thinking why the fuck would he cheat on Adam, perfect Adam who loved him dearly   
"How dare you" Blake said raising his voice "he loves you and your here slutting around, what more do u fucking want, you've got the best."  
"Blake get the fuck off me, your choking me." Carson said gasping for air "I don't want to cause a scene man so just fuck off man" Blake was about to punch Carson again when someone hit him so hard, he passed out and that's the last thing he remembered

Blake woke up, with pain all over his body, his head hurt like fuck and damn it, his jaw was stinging like a fresh burn, they was a melody playing that was beautifully sad and he hoped it was not in his head, it became more clear in his ears so he turned his head to see Adam at the piano, he noticed the couch he was sleeping on for the first time and as he looked around it was confirmed he was at Adam's place, how the fuck did he even get there. Adam looked so taken up in what he was playing, the melody that had drawn Blake back from where ever but he didn't recognize. It must be new, coz Blake knew all of Adam's music, Blake sat up on the couch from which he had been laying, Adam, stopped playing, looked at him, first relief washed all over his features but it was quickly replaced with disgust. Adam stood up without saying so much of a word and he went upstairs.  
"How did I end up here" Blake asked Adam as he followed him upstairs into the bedroom stumbling a few times and almost falling as he had a blinding headache.  
"Go away man, I just want to be left alone." Adam said trying to dismiss Blake  
"Then why am I here." Blake asked plainly confused  
"You were drunk, as always’ Adam said his hazel eyes almost black with anger “Carson, brought u."  
"That bastard is he here." Blake asks as everything comes back rushing to him from that night and he instinctively makes fists at his side  
"Asshole” Adam shoves Blake’s shoulder and Blake is startled “he fuckin' saved you in that bar and brought here and the first thing you want to do is hit him, Classy Blake, real classy man" Adam said his voice now trembling and tears starting to run down his face, what the hell was wrong with Blake. He had enough shit of his own, he could not handle Blake's shit at this time of the night especially  
"But..." Blake started explaining only to be cut off by Adam.  
"No Blake, just leave me the fuck alone, am not in the moods man, to deal with whatever shit you've got going on." Adam said and Blake heard the tiredness in Adam's voice and the fact that Adam was cursing and screaming at the same time which he rarely did, it was either or, Blake knew this was serious and he had to give Adam space, for whatever reason, so left.  
Adam was in denial, Blake knew that, as he went downstairs, his love for Carson was blinding him to the fact that Carson was a cheating bastard and maybe he should pretend for his friend and just let it be. Blake saw Tylenol on the counter and almost ignored it but the pain and the fact that Adam had thought about him enough to leave the pills out for him won and swallowed a pill, Adam was sweet like that, Blake smiled as he thought about how Adam always reminded him to do little things, how blind was he to not realize it sooner. He sat down to call a cab and but something in him changed. He was a selfish bastard and he would have Adam any way he was getting him. Even the dirty way, Carson was hurting Adam and Blake was going to protect him at any cost. He loved Adam and he was going to show him, so he placed the phone back on the hook and headed back upstairs  
"He is cheating on you" Blake said as soon as he re-entered Adam's room. Adam was startled as he thought, Blake had left.  
"What the hell Blake, u can't just sneak up on someone like that, I could have a heart fuckin' attack" Adam snapped jumping off the bed where he was trying to sniffle his cries  
“Carson is...” Blake said unfazed by Adam’s attempt to throw him out his room but Adam cut him off   
"Stay the hell out of my business and stay the hell away from him." Adam said getting off his bed  
"So u don't fucking care that he is cheating on you" Blake asked, so confused, the Adam he knew, would not allow anyone he loved to stray  
"What... that's why you beat him up." Adam asked dumbfounded, Blake was fighting for him. Now Adam didn't know what to say. "You can't just do shit like that Blake, you are not an animal and you know how much I hate violence."  
Shit. Blake thought, damn Adam and his nonviolence ways, Stupid yoga, how could he forget that, of course that's why Adam is so upset with him. "Am sorry man, I just saw him there in that bar with a fuckin' slut and I lost it. I can't let him hurt you like that, I know how much you love him and he is disrespecting you. I could fuckin' kill him, and I will if I ever catch him again."  
"Don't” Adam said seriously “Blake, promise you won't pull this shit again, especially not with Car." Adam said shaking his head fanatically, how did he even get to love this hot mess of a person, of course the hot should explain why. And well, who doesn't love a hot mess.  
"No" Blake said shaking his head  
"Promise Blake." Adam demanded  
"Ok, but he had better stir clear of me" Blake said  
"That's not a fucking promise Blake, it’s a threat, what the hell" Adam said losing it a bit, he didn't want Blake beating Car, Carson was a nice person, he didn't want Blake beating anyone at all  
"Ok, Ok, I promise, but why the fuck would you want to stay with him, to marry him" Blake asked shaking his head  
"Who the fuck said anything about marrying anyone." Adam asked shocked a bit.  
"I saw you two, him proposing. Adam you deserve better, someone who will be true." Blake said and this time he was standing in Adam's personal space.  
Like who, you, do you even fucking care Blake, how come you turned me down, Adam wanted to scream all that in Blake's face but he could not form a single syllable when Blake was so close and touching his face gently   
"Let me help you Adam." Blake said so close Adam could not breath  
"How" Adam said  
"Use me” Blake said and Adam's eyes grew big instantly "Use me to make him jealous, do the very same thing he is doing to you."  
"Why" Adam said as all common sense seemed to have left him and he really was losing his self-control.  
"Because I want you Adz." He said looking in Adam's beautiful hazel eyes and Adam instantly looking away.   
"Bullshit" Adam said the first thing that literally came to his mind  
"Please." Blake begged, Adam could not believe this  
"What's changed, you can't come from pushing me away to doing a 360 and wanting me allover sudden." Adam said hysterically and pushing Blake away but Blake didn't barge, he instead pulled Adam in his arms and drew circles on his back and when it seemed like the storm had passed, Blake continued papering Adam's face and neck with kisses, Adam seemed out of it a bit, like he couldn't quite figure out what the hell was going on, then Blake kissed him on the lips, hard, hungry and demanding. It took everything for Adam to push him away.  
"What the hell, Blake." He said and the moment he tried to move he regretted it; his hard on was so evident it hurt. Both physically and mentally, Adam's eyes wondered to his dick just for a second but Blake's eyes had already caught on. Blake stared at Adam's hard on and then back into his beautiful eyes. Adam feeling embarrassed and betrayed by his body, was about to turn away when he felt Blake's hands around his thighs, he looked down and the visual almost had him coming undone, literally, Blake, on his knees looking at Adam's swollen dick through his pants like it was everything.  
"Let me take care of this" he begged his hand on Adam's Zip and Adam almost started mourning right there "For whatever reason, u might have, curiosity, revenge against Carson, for spite, to humiliate me, any reason, just please let me do this for you. Even if it’s just one time. Please" Adam slowly unwounded Blake's arms around himself and before he could lose his resolution, he stepped outside the bedroom leaving Blake on his knees in his bedroom.   
Blake knowing Adam too well knew he was going to run, probably as far as to Carson's arms so it wouldn't hurt to just stay here and stay close. Blake shed of all his clothes and crawled beneath Adam's sheets, maybe he could cherish this closeness, coz he had nothing left. He had laid it all on the ground and Adam had turned him down. he wanted to cry, but what was the point, when the tears could not make Adam change his mind, its not like he was here to see. Blake looked at the bedside saw a picture of Adam and Carson. A tear rolled out of his one eye and he looked away, not before turning the picture down. He had kept on like nothing was wrong, and he was happy for them but Blake was dying inside. Blake last thought before bed was Adam and just as he was about to start to jerking off, he remembered that this was Adam's bed and settled for sleeping instead.   
Adam couldn't breathe, he was going to pass out. He needed to go somewhere, anywhere, drink something. He went down stairs and he was about to get out when he grabbed his phone to check for the time and there was the stupid reminder. He had a meeting, and he was a lousy drunk and it was freakin' one in the night. How the fuck had time flown by, he couldn't just fucking return to his bedroom, Blake was there so he went to the guest room. Adam entered the guest room and SHIT, Blake had been here too many a few time so the fuckin' room smelt like him. Why the fuck would Blake, do this to him, Adam thought he was coping, finding ways to get over him, maybe he should have said yes to Carson and then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be here. He had wanted Blake for years, still did but something felt so wrong about the way, Blake was offering himself. Adam pants were really hurting and his uncomfort was growing just by the mere thought of Blake, so he threw them off, sat at the edge of the bed but damn it, his lube was in his bedroom and there was nothing he could about that, thank God for pre-come and silver. Adam started jerking off one hand on his cock and the other covering his mouth, he didn't want Blake hearing him moan, the only image on Adam's mind was Blake on his knees, begging him to take care of … and that had Adam coming within a few seconds. an hour later, Adam's still hurt badly could not sleep , and his thoughts just kept on being invaded by Blake fucking Shelton.   
Blake came to me, begging, why the hell would he do that. I almost gave in, damn it. I am so angry at him for putting me in this position but I love him so much I could never really disrespect him, not the way he asking me. Did he think it was about sex? That that's all I wanted from him and i could walk away after having him. He was so wrong but I couldn't stop thinking about how he'd held onto my legs on his knees, looking at me with begging blue eyes oh how I dreamed about this for years. Why now, I just want to know that's all. He is becoming someone I didn't know or understand. Just when our friendship was about to go back on truck, he had to go and start acting out. In just one night Blake had managed to create a storm in my life. If anyone could, it would be Blake. I still badly want him. Maybe I should do it once and get it out of my system, maybe...  
Before Adam could chicken out, he shed off his tee and headed to his bedroom. Buck naked. He walked in and the sight had him instantly hard. Blake was cuddling his pillow as if he had slept sniffing it and it fucking turned on Adam. He boldly walked, pulled back the covers from Blake's body damn, the guy was naked, hand on dick and the site was even more beautiful. Blake slightly turned and his hand leaving his dick and Adam took control. He straddled Blake's legs and started sucking on his dick. Blake's eyes instantly flew open at the exposure and he could swear this was a dream, a twisted dream that he didn't want to end, but then Adam looked up at him with those hazel eyes he loved, with his mouth still on Blake's dick and Blake lost it. He was not going to waste anytime anymore and so he had to show Adam how glad he was that he had changed his mind. Blake pulled Adam up and flipped them over, he straddled Adam and he started kissing him hungrily, want was met by need, lust by love, hunger for hunger and as he tasted blood but he loved it and got addicted to the taste, Blake started going lower, kissing Adam's tattoo, Biting and marking his nipples, his chests, marking his abs, then his thighs, leaving hickeys all over him. He loved everything about Adam's body and didn't know if he was ever going to get another chance so he worshiped and devoured it. Adam felt like he was an animal being branded and marked with all the bites Blake was leaving but he loved it. Blake then focused on Adam's dick. He licked his lips first and from where Adam was laying and watching, he almost died at the sight of Blake, worshiping his dick. Blake started by licking the pre cam off the tip of Adam's dick and then started taking him all in into his throat. Adam was already on the verge of coming from all the attention and so it was hard to hold back, He was shaking from head to toe. He was on the verge of ... "Blake, Blake..." He kept moaning Blake's name and he was driving him nuts.   
"Blake am... Going...to... Cam" "Blake..." Adam moaned endlessly but Blake seemed to make him last forever, stopping to blow a little air on Adam's dick and restarting the torture all over again.   
"Please, baby... Let me cam" Adam begged and Blake scrapped his teeth on Adam's dick twice, his eyes never leaving Adam's and. Adam grabbed on to the bedpost for stability because he was trembling and shuttering into pieces as he came in Blake mouth and watching as Blake swallowed everything. Blake came up and kissed Adam on his lips making his taste himself, Adam was so weak but a big part of him knew Blake hadn’t cam yet mostly because he felt Blake’s hard dick pressing between his legs and so he stretched his hand and started stroking Blake’s dick, rubbing it gently up and down. It so slicked and he didn’t even know a man could get this wet before caming. Blake flipped Adam on his back and without warning he pushed two fingers up his ass, Adam gasped at the intrusion that he hadn’t prepared for but his body betrayed his mind and he instantly got hard again, how could Blake even know how to do this, was going through Adam’s mind but soon there were no thoughts at all as Blake pushed in a third finger and Adam screamed with pleasure as he clutched tightly around the fingers, Adam turned his head trying to sneak a peek at Blake and he almost lost it, he looked like a starved lion that was finally in reach of its prey and just then Adam knew he was prey and he was not going to down without a fight, Blake had hunger written all over his face. Adam pulled away and Blake looked confused and out of it for a second until Adam took control by pushing him down on the bed and straddled him. Adam took Blake’s dick and pointed it directly at his opening, he saw Blake’s eyes turn to dark blue with lust and he started riding him, clutching around him as tightly as he could and Blake stretched his hand and started stroking Adam’s dick roughly, Adam threw his head back and his hands grabbed onto the shits for support as he increased the pace with which he was riding Blake, he felt both possessed and empowered, this kind of sex he had never had with Carson, Carson was always gentle and a gentleman. In a single motion, he fell forward and bite Blake in the crock of his neck and that had them caming at the same time... Blake held him tightly at the top of him and even what seemed like thirty minutes of heavy breathing and silence. No one shifted, then Blake had gently placed him on the side, stood up Pulled the covers and spooned Adam, wrapping his hands around Adam’s waist, Adam lost it and started weeping like a baby


	2. FLASHBACK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam's mind is taken back to when he first met Blake and the reason he is the same person that made him cry this much the only other time he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanx for the feedback y'all i.e comments and kudos. super appreciated and love y'all for taking ur time to stop by.  
> Someone actually gave me huggles *blushes* . Sori 4 the super slow update i have been caught up in tests and all  
> Hi Doctor_freak, totally miss you

Blake held Adam as he cried, gently drawing circles where his spine met his rear end, he could not help but remember the last he had seen Adam cry this bad, it was the worst day of his life till now, he had watched 8years of friendship burn to nothing, he was so stupid back then to believe what they had was enough, enough to make Blake see things from Adam’s point of view, the memory was so vivid in mind, as if it was happening all over again, he could not wash it out, and could not the tears from falling, suddenly he was the new boy in school again except this time he was a full grown ass man and he was just pathetic with all these tears falling endlessly, he was back to the 16year boy getting his heart broken for the first time and to think that last night he only intended to get over Blake, he should have known better. Adam’s mind took him back to the first time he saw Blake and the last time he had cried this much.  
I entered class for the first time, dreading junior high school, I hate change and am I wrong! Its terrible, transferring to new schools and even worse in the middle of the term, but that was me, moving from school to school. I kept my eyes on the ground and my ears sharp for anyone that might be coming at me. New kid, I guess u know the drill but when nothing happened, and I was standing in the middle of the class with no apparent seat destination, I lifted my eyes up for the first time and I was immediately immobilized coz in that moment my eyes locked and drowned in deep blue sea eyes. I remember thinking this is it, now I have cozed trouble and damn, even when I shut it, the eyes kept speaking for me. I was about to turn back and maybe like try another school, b'coz even with my karate skills, he looked way bigger than me and that scared the shit out of me, but then he smile and my jaw literally dropped. He had dimples, like DIMPLES, deep and lovely like a girl's and it hit me, he wasn't smiling at me, I looked behind me and there was no girl. Maybe I was actually imagining all this. I had been to like, a million schools and all I had ever wished for was to find a friend on first day and could it be possible now!!! I turned back to him and he was still smiling at me still and my face broke into the biggest grin like ever, I was disgusted just thinking how it looked like in a mirror, but I wouldn't change a thing. I liked this dude and I hadn't even met him yet. He motioned me to a chair in the far corner using his head and disappointment hit me, I wanted to sit next to him and he basically just dismissed me and it hurt coz right next to him, there was an empty seat. I sulked for the rest of the lesson only stealing a glance or two now and then, he didn't seem to notice and that was when, I saw the girl he was so busy staring at, she was seated in that seat that he wouldn't give me and but gave it to the girl, go figure. I stared at the girl and man, she was pretty, with platinum blond hair, but she kept staring down, maybe I was making her uncomfortable and so I stopped staring and the rest of class was just a blur. I couldn't really concentrate but that's not new to me. And I could not stop thinking about him for the rest of the day, we only shared one class, what a shame. I was daydreaming and the next thing I knew, I bumped into something, scratch that, some one, I looked up and those blue eyes stared back at me, yah the very ones from before  
"So we finally meet." He said smiling like he hadn't dismissed me in class or later  
"We had to, sooner or later, its not that big of a school" i said and his face stared playing an emotion I couldn't figure out. All I cud see is him jaw dropping, then frowning, with stress on one cheek so there was that dimple again.  
"Not that big of a school, who says that, its a huge school" he finally said decisively.  
"Dude, I have been to bigger school where this is just a nut." I said "quit making those weird faces btw, ur creeping me out."  
And then the room was filled with a roar, yes like he was trying to scare something but his face was pure bliss and full of mirth. And soon it became, my favorite sound. I wanted to hear more of this, I guess u can call it laughter then it stopped and I snapped out of my head.  
"A nut, really, the only thing you can compare it to are nuts, and ps. this is my thinking face."  
"Dude, gross, I said a nut and ps. Your thinking face is crap and scary... Ok and a bit embarrassing too, like you are about to pass out." I said jokingly like we had known each other for years. And there that laughter was again.  
"Your too small to be running your mouth like that but u know what I like you way too much to care, wanna sit with us for lunch.  
"Ya." I said enthusiastically until the 'us' hit me and for the first time I noticed we were in the cafeteria, and all I was thinking was (how the hell did I end up here), he was holding a water like he was headed somewhere and then he finally pointed me to a table, where there was a tray filled with food and damn, that girl. Before I knew it, I was standing alone and I saw him once again, sit next to her, I don't even know why I cared, she was just a girl. I grabbed a bottle of water, an apple and a salad, I guess I just wasn't a food person and I had made up my mind not to go there but my legs betrayed me. And I found myself sitting next to Blondie and .... Wait, what, I didn't know his name after the whole day of thinking about him. And that made me smile a bit, may be that crap the doctor was saying is right after all something about ADHD. I can't really stay on one train truck.  
"Dude, Earth to You" he said and that snapped me out of my thoughts  
"Sorry dude" I said. “And don’t call me Dude”  
"Dude, I didn't know your name and unless of Course if u prefer babe, that works for me as well." He said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively  
“Eeewww” said Blondie who nudged him on the shoulders  
"Adam" I said laughing at their antics despite myself  
"Like a dog" he said and I could tell he was teasing me  
"Levine, Adam Levine" I said  
"Like James, James Bond" he said and I burst out laughing  
"Dude, its Bond, James Bond" I said still grinning "Do you like have a name too, dog name or something."  
"Am a Shelton, Sir Blake Shelton." He said mocking me a bit and feigning a Brit accent, the worst I had ever heard but it was funny so I smiled. "And she is Lady Gwen Stefani." He said and for the first time since sitting down, I remembered we were not alone.  
"Hi Adam." She said and damn, was she sweet or... And even before I got my hi in she went on and that got me smiling "Nice to meet you finally, Blake couldn't stop rumbling on and on about you the whole time." She said and who could hate on that. I was so used to pipo being mean so my guard was always up but these two had managed to like steal the keys and walk through like they owned the place, with just their smiles, incredible notorious laugh, sweet voices and well let's not forget those sinfully unearthly dimples.  
"Earth to Adam." Blake said nodding his head “Am starting to think am boring you or even worse am pushing too hard."  
"Dude, no way, I just have this thing, am not blowing you off, I think your pretty cool, coz I like-like you for real. And then I noticed him trying to muffle that laughter and I caught on, he was teasing. Son of a..... I can't keep saying that word, my mum grounded me for a week and I don't want that on repeat but Blake was definitely, a Sob, what a jackass.  
"And here I thought you were cool." Blake said nodding his head in a goofy way with the goofiest smile  
"Says the guy who spent the whole mid-morning talking about me." I said, damn my mouth but Gwen, that sweet girl am still having mixed feelings about laughed, thank God.  
"Burn." Gwen said and Blake pretended to be angry " I think you finally met your match." She said smiling at me directly and man, that smile, and in that moment, I made up my mind that I liked her, like a lot. These moments are still surreal to me, and I just can't believe we are the very same people in this position today, I remember the first time I took him home to meet my parents and how amazed he was at everything, how big our house was, how nice my parents were, complaining in a sweet way how my brother was doting on him.  
"May be he thinks am a magician, I look like one, right, with all this hair and the good looks" he said jokingly about how my brother had been fascinated by him, following him around like a rescued puppy, I always wondered what it was about him that kept him happy 24/7.  
"O plizzz, that mullet and good looks Blake, really!?" Adam said giving the diva’iest eye roll of all time and we both laughed about that. I remember how we talked for hours when I first learned he lived in a children's home after the passing of his whole family in a tragic car accident. He told me It was when they had first moved to LA. His brother, Richie wanted to try out acting and his parents were doing this for him. They were selfless like that. Blake now going 14 had lived in a small town till he was 7 when they moved to LA but still everything in LA seemed strange and big especially after his parents had passed when he was 10. His mother, father, sister and brother all but him had gone for Riche's audition and were so excited he had got the role. Somehow through the excitement his father has looked away from the road and just like that he was alone. Even his sister had gone, he had stayed home with a baby sitter on a pretense of a headache so he could buy some tv time when everyone was away, he liked watching the music channel but his father loved the weather channel and news, Richie loved movies so competition was stiff on the tv, most times he just wished he had been in that car as well then it wouldn't hurt this much. He didn't belong in this city or this world at all. With no family in LA, he had some how ended up in the system. At first it was hard, he just didn't know what to do, he was freakin' 10. How was he supposed to survive without being told what to do in a home where his parents were not. He was the baby at home so all he did was cry himself to sleep and then he met this little girl who did the same, she cried non stop and so he vowed to make her smile. And just like that Blake had a purpose, to make this girl he had met, called Gwen smile for as long as he could. The night he told me all this, he had cried and was so embarrassed, I asked my mum to let him stay and she said only if his parents agreed. He had asked me not to tell anyone so I didn't dare tell my mum abt his parents. I told her we had asked and they said yes. Blake told me the children's home didn't check their bed all the tym so no one would notice he was absent, Gwen maybe but she knew he was at Adam’s and for the first time we slept together, me holding Blake for comfort and happy to know the story behind the never ending happy guy facade and I remember how guilty I felt after learning the brother sister bond btn Blake and Gwen. I remember the priceless look on Blake's face when I surprised him on his 15th birthday with a guitar , he had talked about getting a guitar for the whole time I had known him and that's the other thing we had in common, Music, Blake, Gwen and I used to talk music for days, it stomped me how much she fit in with us, she was a classic tomb boy, very pretty but all she needed was Blake's big bro shield, all the girls at school were all dolled up and stuff for boy's attention but she never gave a D, surprisingly enough day after day, she wore lipstick, Red lipstick, baggy clothes, and Red lipsticks. It was a cute sight and I really wasn't into girls at all so she was always going to be the loveliest girl to me and Blake. What I remember even more vividly was Blake starting to date, chic after chic, man I hated those chics and what I remember the most was Blake's departure, after 5 years of searching, they had discovered Blake's relative, his uncle that had just returned from the military and he wanted him, and just like that Blake was heading to Oklahoma. I remember crying that night, he just looked at me and told me we would always be friends no matter what and just like that at 15years, I realized what I had for a long time refused to acknowledge, 1.I was gay 2.Madly in love with my best friend 3.He had no idea.  
Was I supposed to tell him now, or just let it be. He was going on and on about how he would call, he had made me promise like a hundred time to take care of Gwen and of course I would, I loved her like a sister, or should I say sister in law coz she was more of Blake's sister than mine and well in my new fantasy me and Blake were going to be happily I married and I guess she couldn't be both our sisters, what can I say, I was 16. What I remember the most was that awful day, just like today, the last I had cried this much and well the one thing both times had in common was well BLAKE.  
Blake had been awfully quiet that day, he had barely touched his food at lunch and that was truly saying something because Blake lived for lunch at The Levine’s. What’s worse is that Blake the blubber mouth always trying to get a rise out of every one hardly picked on anyone not even on Adam’s little brother who Blake constantly taunted with the tales of how an alien had taken over his body as a child but Blake was growing old so the Alien in him had put him on the mission of finding another child to take over, that child happened to be Adz’ brother and Blake had gone to extremes to emphasize his point by buying black eye contacts and faking a hardcore ghostly voice to scare the hell out of the boy. It was a cruel game but at least the boy listened to Blake when he told him to do something, like naptime, homework and he had barely listened to anyone because he was the baby of the house after all. Adam had even gone to the lengths of provoking by picking meatballs from his spaghetti and accidently intentionally stepping on his foot, things that always set off Blake easily because he was so playful and he loved his meat, but instead he had simply given Adam a smile that he Cleary had named Sad Blake Smile so Adam could tell there was something bothering him, Adam had been understanding all day but he couldn’t take it anymore.  
“I know you have something to say so just say it man.” Adam said placing down the game pads, as he adjusted to a sitting position to be Blake’s level; Blake was seated at the edge of bed staring at the screen where they had pretended to play Avengers but both failing to beat the missions and go to the next level, he turned to see Adam worried expression and decided to get over with it.  
“they found my uncle and he wants to take me in.” Blake said and Adam was immediately ecstatic, pulling and tagging at Blake for a hug and he held him so tightly, “I thought, you were sick, or worse… dying, I don’t know maybe both. Don’t ever fuckin’ scare me like that ever again.” Blake had smiled a bit leaning into Adz, of course he knew Adam was going to overreact, he was the king of Drama when encouraged, but Blake knew he was just stalling him cause that was not the whole truth.  
“Dude am so happy for you, you could have told me sooner.” Adam said “Dude, how long have you known, when are moving in with him, now I can finally sleep over at yours, eat at yours, my bed was officially complaining about your harassment what about your surprise birthday party, I had already paid for the place, u can spend the next with him.”  
“its not a surprise Adam if you throw it every year, and I hate surprises” Blake said smiling, he was already missing his friend  
“You love them, you cry like a baby each time, that’s why I throw them, to see you cry and well of course I love to show my extensive knowledge of thoughtful gift giving” Adam said smiling as well until he saw Blake quite, this is where Blake flips him off but he was just silent “What now?” he asked  
“My uncle lives in Oklahoma, that’s where am moving.” Blake said almost whispering  
“Ooooo” Adam was hit by a realization “when?”  
“On Thursday”  
“How long have you known?” Adam asked feeling betrayed already  
“Two months” Blake said  
“And you are only telling me now because…” Adam asked almost clinically to avoid the tears from forming in his eyes as they were clearly lingering in the hack of his mind  
“I didn’t know how to tell you, it was too much all at once and I didn’t want things to get weird just because am leaving.  
“Am your best friend Blake, or at least I thought I was” Adam said resigned “What else have you been keeping from me, that you are freaking Iron Man.”  
“I got into college” Blake smiled, it was so like Adam to try and exaggerate everything, Iron Man!!!!! Seriously?  
“Really, I thought u didn’t want to go to college” Adam was excited, he always thought Blake deserved to go to college and maybe this all moving thing was not so bad  
“My uncle insisted that college is important”  
“I agree, so where man, Can you imagine, UCLA, MIT, Columbia, YALE, HAVARD, are you going to be a lawyer now that you are going to college, am so excited. NYU would be a total blast but that’s too far for u Blake and too cold and am not good with the cold, u never even told me. I wasn’t sure u even wanted to go to college, u never mentioned or applied, ok you obviously applied. You didn’t tell me man. Am so going to come and stay in your dorm room for-evs . Adam was rambling, it was his coping method when the nerves hit and he was as nervous as they came and rambling was the only way to get rid of the nerves.

“Am going to OKla County College.” Blake said firmly a bit too detached like it was no big deal and Adam’s eyes widen but seeing Blake all calm had him laughing immediately, ofcourse Blake was getting him back for sabotaging his date by dropping cow dung in his truck.  
“Come on man, stop pulling my leg.” Adam said laughing “That was good, I almost believed you man, what, with the silence, then college, now OCC!! We have got to stop with the mental pranks Blake, that shit is exhausting, let’s stick to the physical stuff where am sure I can always outrun when need be. You almost gave me grey hairs thinking of what could’ve been wrong.”  
“Adz, am serious.” Blake said, and when Adam looked at him, he recognized that look as well, Adam had come to learn reading Blake like his favorite book. He knew it cover to cover, so he knew Blake was not kidding when he saw that look on his face.  
“Why Blake?” Adam asked shell shocked. They had often talked about OCC, a college in Blake’s hometown, Blake had animatedly gone on and about how it was the worst place he could be. He knew for sure, cause his father used to threaten his brother, Richie with taking him there if he failed to comply with whatever and the strong headed boy would immediately obey. Adam had researched about it on the web just to call off Blake’s bluff and exaggeration only to find out that the College was more like a Prep school, the only one of its kind in the South where boys and girls went to learn good southern values instead of going to normal college and becoming polluted, sounded like shit but it was all real. Why would Blake want to go away to some kind of crappy, pretentious college?  
“I applied and they gave me a football scholarship.” Blake said  
“That’s crap Blake and you very well know that’s not my question.” Adam snapped, “You are good at football and could always get that scholarship anywhere but you hate school, you are always telling me how you couldn’t wait to get done with all this shit, but now college, OCC, what’s changed Blake I want a real reason.”  
“I need to be away from all this, I need to reconnect with family, you wouldn’t understand Adz, you have everything.” Blake said trying to get it out there as if it was stuck there for so long.  
“What is all this?” Adam asked defensively and hated the fact that he could read Adam like book coz it hurt so bad to be in sync right now  
“The city, these people, that stupid foster home…  
“Me?” adam said the unspoken  
“No man…” Blake said but was cut off by Adam  
“These people Blake! Seriously! These people include me just in case you are wondering and what’s there to understand Blake, you made up your mind a freaking long time ago and nothing I say is going to change your mind.”  
“That is not true Adam, I am just trying to figure out some things and I can’t deal with all the crap that’s been happening, I need to be more responsible, I don’t need the drama.” Blake said  
“You don’t the drama, huh, and am drama! Immature drama.” Adam said more to himself than to Blake  
“That not what I said.”  
“Am pretty sure it’s what I heard.” Adam said  
“Adam…  
“No Blake, help me understand. You’re moving to OCC, in Oklahoma, a place you haven’t been in 11years and am still the dramatic one here, how is that even possible.”  
“OCC is not that bad and you will visit.”  
“Yah, twice a semester, in the visitation room Blake.”  
“We shall still talk on phone everyday.” Blake said  
“Monitored phone calls, how is that different from prison or North Korea.”  
“Don’t make this hard.” Blake said  
“Don’t make this hard.” Adam repeated as if so stunned Blake had said that. “Am sorry Blake, but am not going to let you waltz your way out of my life just like that, you know how hard it was for me before you. staying in one place, connecting with people, fitting in. when I first saw you all my headlights flashed red, coz I knew I was about to crash, pretty bad, I was ready for you to be the next dick, that beat me up, because you fit the bully profile like all those others who …. Then you smiled at me, and when we met at lunch, you were literally the best thing to happen to my life, so am sorry if I think that this should not be a decision you make all by yourself. Adam kept staring at Blake, who seemed to have run out of words to say “What about Gwen, Blake?” Adam finally asked  
“She understands.” He said  
“And I don’t.”  
“You don’t live in a foster home, you have family.” Blake said firmly  
“And you think I would judge you for trying to look for your family, I love you Blake, I would support you in anything you decided but excuse me if I think that alienating me from your life is not a decision am going to stand by, I love you and I won’t lose you. Adam said, and he didn’t even know how they had got on their feet but they were standing toe to toe, with Blake hovering over him just inches apart and then as if realizing the meaning behind all he was saying, it all came down crushing his brain, he meant every word he was saying, somehow and somewhere between all the pranks, hanging out, being a gang and superheroes, Adam’s hero worship had turned into love and not brotherly love, he loved Blake, who wouldn’t , maybe it was all those late nights that they sneaked out of the house because one of Adam’s favorite band was playing and he would die if he didn’t go, so Blake always made sure he would go even though Blake hated Adam’s kind of music and could not stand what it did to his ears. Maybe it was the way Blake hovered over him at school like a police dog and for the first time in his whole life, he was safe enough to stay. Maybe it was all the signed marvel posters that were hanging on his bedroom wall because of course Blake crashed comic con and made sure iron man himself signed Adam’s birthday gift. Maybe it was the way Blake worshipped Adam’s parents or the way he kept his little brother entertained, scared and on his toes all at once, like a true big brother, or that fact he would literally walk a million miles for Gwen no shoes on, probably his terrible one pair of shoes, horrible Santa laugh , or his no good drawl that still lingered after over 10years in the city , or his sick obsession with plaid shirts and stupid vests that made him look startling hot or maybe that time they had their first beer, it had been slow but now it was crashing him all at once, how could he not realize he was falling in love all this time, and in a split second, he pulled Blake’s head down and fearlessly started kissing him passionately, everything was hazy, he didn’t know if it lasted even a second or not but he remembers Blake pushing him away gently and telling him he doesn’t feel the same way and would never feel the same way about him, that he was no homo. Later on Adam sometimes liked to think he imagined these words, because the Blake he knew would never ever be that cruel. Things only escalated from worse to worst after that. Adam woke up from what seemed like a bad dream but the scene in his room confirmed it was no dream, discarded tissues all over the floor and red eyes to confirm it was him that had been crying and now all Adam remembered is that they had both said things; both petty and ambiguous things that neither of them meant but once the words were out no one could take them back but he was willing to listen, if Blake called. All he had to do was call, and Adam would let it all go. Blake was going to call, why wouldn’t he, but then Adam remembered clearly how thing had gone down,  
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you should visit, I will call you”  
“Don’t call.” Adam said curling into a ball on his bed, his back facing Blake to hide the tears that were streaming uninvited. “Just go.” And for the second time it finally sunk in for that their friendship was seen its dusk. Adam had cried so bad it took a month and Gwen to finally get him out of the house.  
He just could not believe he had thrust himself in this position again, Blake must think he is pathetic, Adam drifted off to sleep with a strong made up mind that this was the last time Blake would see him cry or vulnerable, for a second he was in control but his stupid emotions, the greatest sex ever and of course Mr.BS had somehow managed to turn this around. He slept off vowing tomorrow would be a better day; all he had to do was forget the greatest sex he ever had. Good luck with that. 

Blake woke up to an empty bed and a bedside note. Classic Adam he thought, of course he would try making him feel like a hooker. He looked at the note and smiled at the irony. “Leave the key under the rock.” Adam had given Blake a key to his house last month when they seemed to have achieved stability in their friendship and now he was taking it back after sleeping together. Blake knew that Adam was trying getting rid of him but he had another thing coming if he thought Blake was going back to all those proto types after getting a copy of the original. The note made Blake smile because it confirmed last night was not only a dream. Maybe Adam felt guilty about cheating on Carson but Blake had clearly seen Carson cheating on Adam and it was the best thing that ever happened to Blake so he was not going to feel guilty about proposition a newly engaged man. He had been silly back then but now he was going to do all he can to make sure Adam would be his and his alone. Blake showered and shaved and decided to hade back to his loft for a bit as he strategized about plans of making Adam fall in love with him again and out of love with Carson. Good luck with that, huh. If he had only been bold back then, they would probably have a house full of dogs and kids by now. Because Adam loved both, Blake didn’t want to be associated with any but he would anything for Adam. How blind had going and staying in Oklahoma made him? He remembered wanting to tell Adam about the real reason, that he knew his Uncle inside out and he knew exactly what to do to get him to accept him completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is a riddle i love riddles..... Everyone has it but no one can loose it.  
> feedback super appreciated. Sori for any mistakes and constructive criticism is super welcome

**Author's Note:**

> Thanx for stopping by, be gentle plizz but if you must... :'( . Do it quick and fast.


End file.
